miteymusings

Sex, drugs, and obscure pop culture references.


 
Friday, December 30, 2005
When variants attack!
Okay, so there will probably be a bit of scrolling involved with this post. Not because I'm going to be writing a ton, but more for the pictures involved.

The images are the variant covers for Marvel's Spider-Man ultimate crossover event The Other. So far, it's sucked pretty severely, though the "second printing variant" covers are pretty damned awesome. All by Mike Wieringo, they're the same image, just with different Spider-Man costumes. I wish I'd been grabbing these ones instead - by far the most impressive thing about The Other.

Make sure you click on 'em to make them big. It's worth it!

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1
Classic Spider-Man Costume

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #19
Black Spider-Man Costume

Amazing Spider-Man #525
Ben Reilly as Spider-Man

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #2
Paper Bag/Fantastic Four Costume

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #20
Scarlet Spider

Amazing Spider-Man #526
Eight Armed/Legged Spider-Man

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #3
Captain Universe Spider-Man

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #21
Armoured Spider-Man costume

Amazing Spider-Man #527
Spider-Man 2099

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #4
Peter Parker wrestling costume

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #22
Peter Parker

Amazing Spider-Man #528
Spider-Ham

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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Lions and monkeys
In my previous post, I mentioned that I saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and King Kong - on the same day, no less! It was a matter of two separate friends wanting to catch the movies. Atleast I had a decent break between the two of them, with Narnia on the first session of the day (9:45 am) and Kong on the last (9:00pm).

The great thing about it: two awesome movies. And two awesome movies in the one day!

First up, Narnia.

Years ago, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the second book, Prince Caspian. I enjoyed the books, more so than the grossly overrated Lord of the Rings trilogy. I don't know why I didn't pick up the remaining five books, something I'll have to remedy very shortly, methinks.

The film itself is amazing. With the novel being shorter in length than the Harry Potter books, the film managed to tell it's story in two hours, without having to truncate bits and pieces.

The performances are great, and the kids who played Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy did great jobs, rather than falling into the child actor "I can't act because I'm little" syndrome. Tilda Swinton was amazing as the White Witch - not who I would have thought was the obvious choice (and I much preferred the thought of Nicole Kidman, the original choice, in the role), however Swinton always gives great performances, and this film is no different. She brings a creepy menace to the character that works as a beautiful contrast to Narnia, and Aslan. As for Aslan, what can I say about Liam Neeson in the role? He's playing yet another mentor figure in a big budget movie (following Qui-Gon Jin in Star Wars Episode I and Ducard/Ra's al Ghul in Batman Begins), and as always, he does it brilliantly. I'd never noticed what an amazing voice Neeson has, but he's earned his place alongside James Earl Jones and Patrick Stewart for awesome voices.

The effects are spectacular. I remember being fairly unimpressed with them in the trailers, thinking they were nice, but nothing special. But the film presents Narnia in all it's glory, and it looks a-fucking-mazing. They're that good.

A lot has been said about the Christian themes throughout the story, and I think people are reading a little bit into it. Yes, CS Lewis was Christian. Yes, he did write Christian themes into the book. But that goes as far as Aslan's resurrection, and the themes of redemption. I think he was more focused on telling a fantasy story suitable for all ages.

However, Aslan's resurrection did lead to my one and only nitpick with the movie. His death was handled beautifully, and his resurrection was moving. However, after coming back, he tells Lucy and Susan about how he knew he'd come back, as he was basically a martyr. I may be wrong here, but didn't the book explain this in the narrative? With Aslan explaining this, it detracts from the sacrifice, because he wasn't willing - the dude was banking on the loophole.

That aside, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is amazing. Andrew Adamson has worked wonders with his first live action film, far surpassing what the more experienced Peter Jackson accomplished with the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

And while on the subject of Peter Jackson, I may as well start about Kong (and I know, I know... that one fucking obvious segue). This is probably going to piss off some Lord of the Rings fans (just incase my previous comments didn't), but Jackson vastly surpassed those films with this.

The running time for Kong is a little over three hours, and one wonders if Jackson is on his way to becoming the type of pretentious filmmaker who sees himself as too "good" for the standard 90 minutes to two hours. I mean over three hours for a movie about a giant monkey who smashes shit? Yes, it has heart, but three hours worth???

That was the opinion I had of the film going in. And while I think that Peter Jackson may still be on his way to becoming the aforementioned pretentious fuck, this movie works.

The film has three very clear acts:
  1. Jack Black's Carl Denham running from the studio, enlisting those he needs (including Naomi Watts' Ann Darrow and Adrien Brody's Carl Driscoll), and the trip to the island;
  2. The island adventures where they meet Kong and others;
  3. The return to New York with King Kong
And it works well for it. The film has the right mix of heart, humour and balls to the wall action. The island not only features Kong himself, but crazed savages, giant bugs, dinosaurs, and other assorted monster things. Whoever Steven Spielberg gets to direct Jurassic Park IV should really take notes from the dinosaur scenes, creating fast and frenetic energy vastly superior to anything in the JP franchise.

Andy Serkis is brilliant as Kong, capturing his inherent savagery, and love for Ann Darrow. He really shines in the movie. Jack Black is, well... Jack Black, albeit scaled down somewhat. He works brilliantly as the sleazy film producer Carl Denham and adds the right amount of comedy relief, while bringing the plot forward. I've never been a fan of Adrien Brody (it could just be that his Gonzo-like nose simply bugs me), though he's quite likeable and enjoyable in the film. The real star of the piece though, is Naomi Watts. She gives a nuanced performance full of humour, horror, sadness and screaming, and does it brilliantly, considering that through much of the movie, she has nothing to work with (damn green screen!). If she doesn't get an Oscar nomination for her performance, it's just another of the Academy's faux pas'.

The only letdown in this film is the return to New York, and it's really nobody's fault. Regardless of whether you've seen the original King Kong, you know how it's going to play out. Not that it's anybody's fault (and I prefer that Peter Jackson didn't decide to fuck with the masterpiece), but after the fast and frenetic second act on the island, it comes off as slightly anticlimactic.

The film captures the heart of Kong in spades, and his love of Ann. That, and you can see why it is that the big monkey loves her. And this isn't just my crush on Naomi since my early teens talking, but the character is wonderful. She really bonds with Kong, creating a strong friendship. Which makes the story that much more tragic than the original.

Oh, and props to Peter Jackson for keeping the setting in the 30s. The film works much better for it.
posted by Batmite 10:51 pm   0 comments
 
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Another post
Yesterday, I managed to catch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and King Kong. Both are thoroughly enjoyable movies, and I was going to write up a bit about them.

But, alas, my previous post took me a little longer than anticipated to write, so I'll have to save it for later. But, I'll just quickly strongly recommend that you see both of these movies. Seriously, they're great stuff. Both of them.

And because I find it physically impossible to leave a post at a short and sweet two paragraphs, on your left, you'll notice a sweet picture of Wolverine (of X-Men fame for those who don't read comics or missed those movies), and the Runaways from their self-titled book.

Apparently Marvel's actually publishing an all-new comic for Free Comic Book Day next year (instead of reprinting one of they're crappier books - something DC's also guilty of).

It's X-Men/Runaways. Now, personally I'm getting fucking sick of crossovers. but I support this move on Marvel's part. Runaways is an amazing book, and it needs a push from Marvel. And there's no better way for them to push it, than:
  1. Give away a new, free issue;

  2. Cross it over with the great-selling X-Men, and plaster Wolverine's face on the cover.

  3. It's written by series writer Brian K Vaughan, who is one of the most talented writers in comics right now. And just look at the sweet cover... Very nice indeed.
posted by Batmite 11:21 pm   0 comments
 
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Fantasy
Okay, okay... Though it's news to absolutely nobody, I'm a fucking geek.

I like my TV, movies, comics, Xbox games, and play a shitload of VS. But the worst thing about the last on that list is, I even enter the Fantasy Card competitions over at VSParadise.

In the last lot, the maximum entries was five, though I only submitted four of them. This time round the limit's three, and I've submitted one so far. Below are the four that I entered in the last lot, and once I have the rest from this round, I'll write up a brand spanking new post with them.

Thematically, this lot I'm chucking up here is Any Freakin Team, so I figured I'd have a little fun (also cool since I'd never made any before)...

Card #1 - Brother I

My very first card ever, and it sucks. It sucks big time. My playing around with Paint Shop Pro was, um, a little unsuccessful, and as a card itself, it's a piece of shit.

I figured I'd try something a little different with an 11 drop (since the game's only given us 1-10 drops thus far), and for something a little fucked up, I figured I'd go for 0 atttack.

This comes from a flavour perspective, since the Brother I (or Brother Eye) controls the OMAC robots from Infinite Crisis. As this would come out at the end of the game (providing it gets that far), it lets you bring out all KO'd Army characters, and for the cost of 5 endurance lets you ready them...

Card #2 - Buffy Summers

Okay, when I created this one, I was being a little silly. Since anything went as far as team affiliations (the previous one was Checkmate on the assumption they'll be a team in the Infinite Crisis expansion), I figured I'd create one for the Scooby Gang, as they call themselves on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

And since I was playing with Buffy (think good thoughts, think good thoughts...), I really had to go with the titular character. This card is a lot more visually appealing than the previous one, and I'm not just talking about the shot of Sarah Michelle Gellar's cleavage. My second card, and I was starting to figure out how these things work (and I got a little Mutant Enemy logo in where the DC or Marvel ones go).

The ability was meant to reflect Buffy as a leader (especially given the 'Buffy the General' theme of season 7), and the close friendships of the gang. I also managed to give it my favourite flavour text, and was a little worried the moderators would ask me to change it, given the double entendre.

Card #3 - Bat-Mite

More silliness. I figured being a Batman fan, I may as well base a card on my online namesake, Batmite. Figured I had best go with the accurate spelling of his name, too.

As Bat-Mite's an imp from the Fifth Dimension with all kinds of fucked up magical powers, I wanted to give him an ability that would reflect his ability to warp reality. So, he can change the target of a non-ongoing plot twist effect.

Since he's only a 1 drop character, I didn't want his ability to be too tough. And since he's not a character to get into the fights, I figured 0 attack and 1 defence would suit him well. In hindsight I would have made him concealed, but what can you do, eh?

Card #4 - Dick Grayson <> Nightwing

My favourite card, plain and simple. It looks the best, due more to the funky image I used for the picture. That, and it has a funky ability (also made the final four cards to be voted on for a prize - even if it did come last).

One thing I really like from the Justice League of America expansion is the dual team affiliations, so I figured I'd give Nightwing two of them - Teen Titans, who have been part of the game since the beginning, and Outsiders who we've never seen before.

I also gave him the Ally mechanic from this set, which gives characters Evasion. With his acrobatics, I thought this worked from a flavour perspective. I also gave him the leader mechanic introduced in Avengers, so he can share his affiliations with characters adjacent to him (since, basically, the Teen Titans and Outsiders are fairly close).

And, so that's basically it. Figured I'd share these with ya. Once I have the remaining cards from this next round done, I'll chuck them on here too.
posted by Batmite 10:22 pm   0 comments
 
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Sunday, December 25, 2005
Shit happens when you party naked
And yes, this is my obligatory Christmas post. And see? I even went to the trouble of chucking in the green and red there. It's all commitment, I tells you!

This year, like many a Christmas, was basically a non-event. Christmas lunch with the family, and sitting down infront of the TV. I finally watched I, Robot this afternoon, and caught the brilliant Bad Santa this evening (hence this post's title). While on the subject of the latter film, it's brilliant. Directed by Terry Zwigoff (the dude behind the amazing adaptation of Ghost World, and Art School Confidential - another adaptation of a Daniel Clowes comic), Bad Santa tells the story of a con artist played by Billy Bob Thornton, who gets jobs at department stores as Santa, and rips them off. His cohort in all this is a midget...

A few people have complained about Bad Santa being mean spirited, and having no Christmas spirit. Yes, it laughs at fat dopey kids. Yes, "Santa" does screw a plus-sized woman in the arse and proclaim "Baby, you ain't gonna shit right for a week". However, people who are making such complaints obviously:
  1. Haven't seen the entire movie; or
  2. Are completely missing the point
In many ways, it's a standard Christmas movie, with Billy Bob Thornton's character slowly learning the meaning of Christmas. Granted, it has a fucked up sense of humour, but when it's all said and done, he learns what Christmas is about, in a great movie which manages to escape all the cliche's.

Now, I originally set about writing this post about Christmas in general. But before I continue with that, let me just say a little bit about the brilliant Jingle Belle: The Fight Before Christmas.

Paul Dini's a writer who rarely lets his audience down. Whether it be his work on Batman: The Animated Series (and their associated comic spin-offs - I strongly recommend that anyone, whether they are a comic fan or not, checks out Batman Adventures: Mad Love), or his annual Jingle Belle adventures, he churns out great stuff.

I must admit that I was disappointed that we only got one issue this year, though considering how late the four issues shipped last time, Mr Dini's probably just aiming for something that he could finish on time. Ah well, such is life...

This issue features three short stories, all of which are amusing:
  1. The first story features JB, captain of the North Pole ice hockey team's rivalry with Tashi, of the North Pole's team. Not overly Christmasy, but fun.
  2. The second tale isn't really Christmasy either, but features a cute, and amusing love story between lemmings.
  3. The third story, is set on Christmas eve, with Jingle, Santa and Mrs Claus on TV, featured in an address by none other than George W Bush. Now, these stories aren't aimed at the kiddy market, though with the art style, they're sure to capture that market. Still, Dini doesn't shy away from ripping into Bush with all he has, in a hilarious take.
Now that I have both those bits and pieces out of the way, I'll get back to the subject at hand: Christmas! I've already ranted and raved enough, so I'll try and keep this relatively succinct.

It occurs to me that Christmas is not a religious holiday, and hasn't been for some time. Now, I'm not saying that to piss off any Christians out there (though you can feel free to write to me at Batmite, c/o Satan, Seventh Level of Hell if you must).

Yes, the holiday is designated to celebrate the Birth of Christ, but I don't think that there are too many people out there who really give a shit. When it's all said and done, it's a time to spend with your family and loved ones.

And is that such a bad thing? Even if you are uber-religious? Personally, I don't think so at all.
posted by Batmite 10:46 pm   0 comments
 
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Uglification
A lot has been said about the "uglification" of comics lately, inspired largely by the Scarlet Witch destroying the Avengers in Avengers Disassembled, and the rape, murder and mindwiping inherent in Identity Crisis. And now it's hit the "classic" kids comic characters Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew.

Captain Carrot is an anthropomorphic superhero, who gains super powers after eating radioactive carrots... or something along those lines. As a kids comic, it was amusing, harmless fun.

After years in oblivion, and being wiped out of DC continuity in Crisis on Infinite Earths, Captain Carrot has finally returned to the pages of DC comics in Teen Titans #30. Zoo Crew member Little Cheese has been brutally murdered; all the heroes in their universe have been outed, are being hunted, or have disappeared off the radar; and Captain Carrot himself is an alcoholic. Not quite the Captain Carrot that fans are used to.

In a nutshell, the latest issue of Teen Titans has pages from a "Captain Carrot" comic which exists within the DC Universe interspersed throughout it. The first of a two-part storyline, it appears that the comic is somehow related to the threat that the Titans are facing against Brother Blood.

And, hey, the Captain Carrot pages feature art by classic Captain Carrot artist Scott Shaw! (the exclamation mark being a part of his pen name, similar to Elliot S! Maggin).

What is apparent from this issue of Teen Titans is that writer Geoff Johns has something to say about the darkening and uglification of comics. And it doesn't seem like he's too impressed with it.

All this began back in the 80s, with the release of classics such as Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen - darker, mature comics aimed at an older audience. But it's gotten to the point, where, these days, readers are hard pressed to find comics suitable for children.

Even superhero comics aren't for kids anymore. Comics aren't just for kids - hell, they aren't for kids at all these days.

Johns has crafted an excellent issue of Teen Titans. Not only is it using Captain Carrot as a way to examine the changes that have hit the comic book industry, but it's a fast and frenetic adventure, with a great underlying mystery about the relevance of this comic within the story.

Add that to the fact that he's playing with Infinite Crisis, a series spawned from the darkening of comics, and features the dead returning to life, and hinting that it's due to Superman's return from the dead (another sly stab; this time at comic book death not being permanent - something that's gotten worse after The Death of Superman), and Johns has given yet another brilliant issue, showing why he's DC's #1 writer.
posted by Batmite 10:56 pm   0 comments
 
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Trailer trash

And before you ask, no - I am not referring to any ex-girlfriends.

Superhero Hype
currently has a poll online, relating to the newly released trailers for Superman Returns, X-Men 3 and V For Vendetta, asking their fanboy readers which one is their favourite. At the time of writing this post, a total of 8,396 people have responded.

The results?

  • V For Vendetta - 10%
  • Superman Returns - 27.5%
  • X-Men 3 - 62.5%

This has me thinking - looking at these results, it appears that the film most devoid of any intelligence is the favourite. Now, I know that X-Men was cool. And I know that X-Men 2 fucking rocked. But those films were made by Bryan Singer, known for The Usual Suspects. But this new one? It'd by Brett Ratner, known for Rush Hour.

That said, I did download this teaser, and the movie looks like it may be okay. It shows nothing about the plot, but is heavy on the action, and a whole lot of pissed off looking mutants. And I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't look like shit. But as a mate of mine pointed out today, even the trailer for The Blair Witch Project was awesome. It went on to be the then-highest grossing independant movie of all time. And yet it sucked.

The Superman Returns teaser was in many ways the polar opposite of the X-Men 3 one. It only showed a tiny amount of action, though was high on the atmosphere. It set about showing the audience that it was a classic take on Superman. Through Jor-El's narration (voiced by Marlon Brando - creepy!) about Superman inspiring the world, and shots of Clark Kent growing up, it was telling us the theme of the movie, rather than action. Hell, we'll have later trailers for all that.

Finally, the V For Vendetta trailer is a different beast altogether. Unlike the previous two, it's not a teaser, but a full trailer. And the second one. It's not a superhero property. But, man, does it look amazing. Alan Moore adaptations have had a hard time at the cinema - League of Extroadinary Gentlemen is best left forgotten, and From Hell, while being fun, was nothing like the source material. And let us not forget Watchmen, which has been in Development Hell for years. Hopefully V For Vendetta will break the curse.

All in all, the Superman Returns teaser has me most excited. The V For Vendetta trailer looks promising. X-Men 3 looks like it could end up being a good movie, though still has too much going against it to have me sold (though, 62.5% of fanboys figure otherwise, it seems).

posted by Batmite 10:47 pm   0 comments
 
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
The evil that writers do
I'm a Kevin Smith fan. I own all his movies, the original releases, along with the 10th anniversary editions for Clerks and Mallrats. Hell, I even enjoyed Mallrats, and recognise that while it's not high art, it's pretty damn amusing. I also thoroughly enjoyed Jersey Girl, and figure it wasn't "Kevin Smith enough" for many fans, yet still "too Kevin Smith" for non-fans.

Clerks: The Animated Series is one of my most watched DVDs, and I'm waiting for my copy of Jay & Silent Bob Do Degrassi: The Next Generation to arrive.

Even my last post was heralding the fact that Kevin may actually give us a sequel to Dogma.

I loved his Quiver arc of Green Arrow, thoroughly enjoyed Guardian Devil in Daredevil, and thoroughly enjoyed the first three issues of Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do.

So, yeah, I'm a pretty big fucking fan.

But where is this going? Ya see, I read #4 of the aforementioned Spider-Man/Black Cat last night, and it just doesn't hold up. The issue opens with "The comic three years in the making (and hardly worth the wait)" - and you know what? That's probably about the most accurate description I've read about a comic in a long while.

I was wondering how Kevin would handle the gap, considering that the first three issues were chock full of pop culture references, which, well, are now three years out of date. I was hoping that he'd be consistant with this, so they atleast read like they were written at the same time?

Well, there were no pop culture references. That, and the issue guest stars Daredevil, outed as Matt Murdock, after declaring himself the new Kingpin of Hell's Kitchen. Um, that wasn't anywhere near happening when this mini started...

But, that's forgivable. What isn't do forgivable, however, is the stark shift in tone between issues three and four. It's like Kevin forgot what story he was actually writing. Granted, the tone may have always been intended to shift like this, though it seems sudden. The story literally jumps from a fun action/adventure to a drama revolving over whether the Black Cat was raped.

What little amount of humour that was left in the book was really hamfisted. It was incredibly forced. It really seemed like it was phoned in.

Thinking that when it came to the beginning of this miniseries some three odd years ago, my memory was probably playing tricks on me, I re-read the initial issues. And alas, my memory is fine. They were great issues.

But #4 fell apart. Let's hope he gets it back on track...
posted by Batmite 10:23 pm   0 comments
 
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Saturday, December 17, 2005
Gah! My eyes!!!
And I really hope that isn't your reaction to the new look Mitey Musings... Basically I figured it was time for a change. The change also instigated me getting rid of the what I'm watching, reading, jerking off over, etc, because it was a hassle to keep updating. I did manage to clean up the links to blogs and sites, though.

If the coloured bits and pieces in the archived posrs are kinda hard to read with this new look, I'm sorry. Not sorry enough to do anything about it, mind you. But I'll endeavour to keep the look of this blog decent.

Since it took me a little while to do (it took up much of my writing and porn downloading time), I'm not going to write up much tonight, though I will leave you with a recent comment from Kevin Smith on the prospect of a sequel to Dogma. Could be very cool, indeed...

The question:
Kevin, the way you ended Dogma left room for a sequal, have you ever considered doing one? Possibly following the LAST scion?

And the answer:
So weird you should ask this, because ever since 9/11, I
have been thinking about a sequel of sorts. I mean, the worst terrorist attack on American soil was religiously bent. In the wake of said attack, the leader of the "Free World" outed himself as pretty damned Christian. In the last election, rather than a quagmire war abroad, the big issue was whether or not gay marriage was moral.

Back when I made "Dogma", I always maintained that another movie about religion wouldn't be forthcoming, as "Dogma" was the product of 28 years of religious and spiritual meditation, and I'd kinda shot my wad on the subject. Now? I think I might have more to say.

And, yes - the Last Scion would be at the epicenter of it. And she'd have to be played by Alanis.

And we'd need a bigger budget - because the entire third act would be the Apocalypse.

Scary thing is this: the film would have to touch on Islam. And unlike the Cathloic League, when those cats don't like what you do, they issue a death warrant on yer ass (see Rushdie). And now that I've got a family, I'm not as free to stir the shit-pot as I was when I was single, back when I made "Dogma". I mean, now I've gotta think about more than my own safety and well-being.

But regardless - yeah, a "Dogma" followup's been swimming around in my head for some time now.

P.S. - Interesting "Dogma"-related sidebar: I recently received a glowing "Dogma"-praising email from a recent fan, who began his missive with "My name's Tom Clancy. I do books." It was surreal and really wonderful.

Let's hope this eventuates, Dogma was pretty fucking cool.

Oh, and in an upcoming post (hopefully within the next day or two), I'll have a bit of a bitch about the venerable Mr Smith...
posted by Batmite 11:58 pm   1 comments
 
1 Comments:
  • At 12:08 am, Blogger Batmite said…

    Just testing out the comments to make sure they work...!

     
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Friday, December 16, 2005
Feeling blue
I was wanting to write up a few posts tonight: I wanted to write about some movie trailers with my thoughts; I was wanting to show off some funky comic covers; hell, I was even considering having a rant, rave and bitch (all at once) about work - the place has been tiring me out, which is why I'm copping out with this post.


So, I figure instead, I'll show off the redesigned Blue Beetle costume. Designed by the artist of the March debuting series, Cully Hamner, some dude I've barely heard of.

When the series debuts, it will mark the launch of the third Blue Beetle, following the Silver Age Ted Garrett, and the recently murdered Ted Kord. The death sparked controversy, though quite frankly, not many people really gave a flying fuck about him before.

Personally, I did. And I was sad to see him go, though Countdown to Infinite Crisis showed what a great character, what a great hero, he is. Or was. Personally, I'm more disappointed by the fact that editorially, it's an excuse to replace him...

But, this new costume kinda rocks. The image above is the cover to Blue Beetle #1, while the two I are character designs that I swiped from this article on Newsarama.



So, this post is a cop out, I'll admit it. But the designs are funky. And who knows, at some point, I may actually decide to write those aforementioned posts... Maybe. But I will eventually be back racking up that word count...
posted by Batmite 11:17 pm   0 comments
 
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Monday, December 12, 2005
Stolen from Keith Champagne
Man, I really have to update the side menus on this blog. The reading, watching, listening's way out of date, as is the links part. Something I'll be linking to is Champagne Wishes, which may sound like a porn site, but is in actuality writer/inker Keith Champagne's blog.

It's a great read, and includes, among a ton of funky shit, a great review of Aeon Flux (which isn't out here yet), and a great proposal for a Royal Flush Gang miniseries (that Dan DiDio - DC Comics bigwig - nixed, unfortunately).

Another great post, is 29 Things You Didn't Know About Chuck Norris, which I have plagiarised here. I figure it's okay, since it's from an email that Champagne was forwarded... So, without further adieu:
  1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

  2. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

  3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

  4. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

  5. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

  6. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

  7. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

  8. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  9. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

  10. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

  11. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

  12. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

  14. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

  15. <>Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

  16. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

  17. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

  18. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

  19. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

  20. <>The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

  21. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  22. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

  23. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

  24. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

  25. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

  26. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

  27. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

  28. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

  29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
So, that gave me a giggle. And it makes for a decently long post, without having to type much...!
posted by Batmite 10:26 pm   0 comments
 
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Ho! Ho! Ho!
For the record, it should be noted that the post title is not referring to Paris Hilton...

So, it's been a little over a month since my last post, and I haven't really been motivated to write anything much. Why? Because I haven't had much to write about. And when ya think about it, that's pretty damn logical.

So, how have I been spending my time?
  1. I've been working pretty fucking hard

  2. I had a farewell for a good mate last week, who suddenly decided to move to Queensland

  3. I've been on the phone a lot to my girly, and popping her the odd email. Things seem to be going okay (a little over two months now), though she seems to be running a little hot and cold :-(
Okay, so that's well and good, but this post is called Ho! Ho! Ho! for a reason. Basically, I figure Santa Claus is evil. Between a name that's similar to "Satan", and his penchant for little kids, there's just something wrong.

Anyways, I've gotten a couple of amusing pics of him through work (this being the Silly Season and all). The first one doesn't scream "evil", but it did make me laugh. Especially with the work environment being like it is, today.

You know, it just occured to me that good ol' Santa doesn't even appear in that picture. Ah well, what can ya do? Atleast he appears in this next one, maybe a little too much. I got this today, and was pissing myself laughing...

And yeah, he does come out a little more evil - as does Rudolph.

But, man, I really can't be fucked writing much right now...

Oh, though the Paris Hilton reference at the beginning of the post may have (with any luck) driven up some webhits. So, I figure, why not make good on it?


There. Happy now? Excuse me while I go be by myself...
posted by Batmite 10:01 pm   0 comments
 
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